i love when people say my name cause its like hey thats me
Anonymous asked: What's one thing u regret nd y
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my past but I don’t regret any of them because it put me in the position I am now and I honestly love where I am now.
i am typing with russian accent
how the hell did you force me to read that with a russian accent
a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced
- JESSE EISENBERG: People on the street say mean things to me.
- INTERVIEWER: Like what?
- JESSE EISENBERG: I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
- INTERVIEWER: What do you say back?
- JESSE EISENBERG: I say, “Please, Abraham, I’m not that man.”
Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension
- "Make me",
- "oh really",
- "is that so"
"What’s in it for me?"
"can you feel it mr krabs?"
ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE
TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS